Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Change Your Habit
"Catching Yourself In the Act" is an important step in the change process for now you can begin to take a step back and see that the disconnects between your good intentions and the behavioral results of those intentions do not always match. Being able to do this is a HUGE step for now you are in a position to create a new set of behaviors AND change your thinking, attitudes, and expectations about what typically takes place in different situations and interactions with others. Once you know that the patterns of behaviors between yourself and your teen or spouse have led to a particular set of perceptions and beliefs about their intentions and that they have developed their own about you, the opportunity arises to create new patterns that lead to new, more satisfying, and hopefully more productive outcomes.
This may take some work. For example, understanding Emotional Intelligence and how our emotions can sometimes hijack us and lead to unintended behaviors you can learn to pull the switch on your emotions before the hijacking so that you remain present, clear, and relatively calm during your interactions. Learning and practicing to meditate or use relaxation techniques can help you to see how our thought patterns can create scenarios based on our past learning and experiences that are influencing our behaviors today. Learning to use Non-Violent Communication techniques you can learn how to be less blaming and accusatory and talk more about your feelings and personal needs in a way that doesn't press the other persons buttons. You can practice all you learn with people that don't trigger you as much to get better at your skills. These are just a few examples of how you can learn, practice, and implement new behaviors that lead to different outcomes, attitudes and perceptions.
Coaching is especially helpful here as you need someone to support and encourage you through these changes and someone that can model the skills that you would like to learn. It is hard in the heat of the moment to remember what you have learned and practiced so having someone to brainstorm and problem solve with is important. Learning new behaviors takes practice and like any other skill takes repetition, support, and encouragement.
Remember, it is all how you look at it! Like the story of the blind men who, all standing at different parts of an elephant, try to describe it, and cannot. They can only describe their experience from the part of the elephant that they are touching. Put all the perceptions together and you have an elephant! When we are interacting with others in our lives we only have our perceptions with which to judge what the situations that we find ourselves in really mean. Stepping back, understanding the need for more information, opening ourselves to new images of the other, and trying out new behaviors we can literally change our behaviors and then our minds.
Spend some time today reflecting on your interactions with people close to you. Think about what thoughts or ideas you have about those persons and how they might influence how you interact with them. Imagine how you might, despite your expectations, try on a new behavior and see what happens as a result.
Dr. Dan Kaufman Dan has been an educator and mental health professional for 30 years. He currently works with families whose children are addicted to alcohol and/or drugs and would like to have them free from the addiction and happy and whole again.
http://www.spiralcoachingandconsulting.com
http://www.spiraltohealth.blogspot.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Daniel_Kaufman
This may take some work. For example, understanding Emotional Intelligence and how our emotions can sometimes hijack us and lead to unintended behaviors you can learn to pull the switch on your emotions before the hijacking so that you remain present, clear, and relatively calm during your interactions. Learning and practicing to meditate or use relaxation techniques can help you to see how our thought patterns can create scenarios based on our past learning and experiences that are influencing our behaviors today. Learning to use Non-Violent Communication techniques you can learn how to be less blaming and accusatory and talk more about your feelings and personal needs in a way that doesn't press the other persons buttons. You can practice all you learn with people that don't trigger you as much to get better at your skills. These are just a few examples of how you can learn, practice, and implement new behaviors that lead to different outcomes, attitudes and perceptions.
Coaching is especially helpful here as you need someone to support and encourage you through these changes and someone that can model the skills that you would like to learn. It is hard in the heat of the moment to remember what you have learned and practiced so having someone to brainstorm and problem solve with is important. Learning new behaviors takes practice and like any other skill takes repetition, support, and encouragement.
Remember, it is all how you look at it! Like the story of the blind men who, all standing at different parts of an elephant, try to describe it, and cannot. They can only describe their experience from the part of the elephant that they are touching. Put all the perceptions together and you have an elephant! When we are interacting with others in our lives we only have our perceptions with which to judge what the situations that we find ourselves in really mean. Stepping back, understanding the need for more information, opening ourselves to new images of the other, and trying out new behaviors we can literally change our behaviors and then our minds.
Spend some time today reflecting on your interactions with people close to you. Think about what thoughts or ideas you have about those persons and how they might influence how you interact with them. Imagine how you might, despite your expectations, try on a new behavior and see what happens as a result.
Dr. Dan Kaufman Dan has been an educator and mental health professional for 30 years. He currently works with families whose children are addicted to alcohol and/or drugs and would like to have them free from the addiction and happy and whole again.
http://www.spiralcoachingandconsulting.com
http://www.spiraltohealth.blogspot.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Daniel_Kaufman
What are you now?
here have been many books written with regard to getting back together with an ex following the breakup of a relationship. Many of these often only give you a vague idea of what you need to do in order to hopefully win that special one back. Yet today there is a program now available online called "The Magic of Making Up" which can help you with getting on the right track to winning that loved one back.
Below we look at some of the things that you will learn from using this program and which will help to provide you with a much more healthy relationship with your ex a second time around.
1. Although you may want to rush in with all guns blazing following the breakup it is vital that you let them have time to themselves before you begin once again to show them how much they mean to you and how much you care about them. It is important that the initial contact is kept short and just show them that you are thinking about them, but not actually spending all your time obsessing about them. Phone them to ask them how they are doing or sending them a text message about something that you both are interested in and enjoyed doing together.
2. It is crucial that you do take responsibility for any of your actions that could have harmed your relationship with your ex. However, avoid taking every bit of advice that others give to you about what you should and shouldn't be doing with regards to your relationship. Remember it is you who is going to be the one who has to live with the consequences of what you do in terms to your life and your relationship.
Certainly you should never be swayed by what others say or the advice that they give to you. Yes they are trying to be helpful, but they don't really know what is best for you and for your ex. You need to realize that the decisions you make with regard to what it is you are going to do to help save your relationship are yours and yours alone.
3. Yes there is going to be a void where once you and your ex were constantly talking to each other on a daily basis. However, just because you feel like this doesn't mean you should continue to phone and text them now that they aren't around, instead give yourself both space and time to reflect on what has caused the relationship to end the way it has.
Although you may find it difficult initially using the program "The Magic of Making Up" should help you on your way to building a much better and stronger relationship with the person you love. However, getting them back should never be rushed and will take a considerable amount of work on your part in order for you to improve the relationship you once had with your ex.
For vital resources on how to get your ex back and save relationship, visit magicofmakinguphere.com today.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Thomas_Moody
Below we look at some of the things that you will learn from using this program and which will help to provide you with a much more healthy relationship with your ex a second time around.
1. Although you may want to rush in with all guns blazing following the breakup it is vital that you let them have time to themselves before you begin once again to show them how much they mean to you and how much you care about them. It is important that the initial contact is kept short and just show them that you are thinking about them, but not actually spending all your time obsessing about them. Phone them to ask them how they are doing or sending them a text message about something that you both are interested in and enjoyed doing together.
2. It is crucial that you do take responsibility for any of your actions that could have harmed your relationship with your ex. However, avoid taking every bit of advice that others give to you about what you should and shouldn't be doing with regards to your relationship. Remember it is you who is going to be the one who has to live with the consequences of what you do in terms to your life and your relationship.
Certainly you should never be swayed by what others say or the advice that they give to you. Yes they are trying to be helpful, but they don't really know what is best for you and for your ex. You need to realize that the decisions you make with regard to what it is you are going to do to help save your relationship are yours and yours alone.
3. Yes there is going to be a void where once you and your ex were constantly talking to each other on a daily basis. However, just because you feel like this doesn't mean you should continue to phone and text them now that they aren't around, instead give yourself both space and time to reflect on what has caused the relationship to end the way it has.
Although you may find it difficult initially using the program "The Magic of Making Up" should help you on your way to building a much better and stronger relationship with the person you love. However, getting them back should never be rushed and will take a considerable amount of work on your part in order for you to improve the relationship you once had with your ex.
For vital resources on how to get your ex back and save relationship, visit magicofmakinguphere.com today.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Thomas_Moody
Make your life success
I can honestly say this to you to become a success in life is not easy, but by planning your success makes it alot easier. "Fail to plan and you plan to fail."
By Planning i simply mean setting goals for yourself. Without setting goals you will never be a success at anything.
Take note of this in order to be a success at anything you must know the following:
know exactly what you want
know exactly when you want it
When you know these two things you will already be way better of from where you started. You won't believe me but these two topics i just listed are the most difficult part for most people. They simply don't know what they want in life - for that the reason so many don't become a success at anything.
Some people take a life time and never figured out what they really wanted. You can change all that for yourself today very easily. Go and sit down and write down what you really want - it doesn't matter if it takes you an hour, a day, a month, a year or a few years. All right i know you probably laughing when i am saying a year or years, but still, think of this way. You have taken a long time figuring out what you really want - but you have then accomplished what most other people have not in a lifetime, and that is knowing what you want in life.
This can be a great start for your new life and new dreams. Everything will fall automatically in place then and you will feel that your living your life with a purpose after that.
My name is Gerrit Nel and im an part-time internet marketer. My general interests are writing articles and i have a big love of helping others in life. You are welcome to use this article for republishing as long as everything stays intact with the article.
http://successmentor2008.wordpress.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gerrit_G_Nel
By Planning i simply mean setting goals for yourself. Without setting goals you will never be a success at anything.
Take note of this in order to be a success at anything you must know the following:
know exactly what you want
know exactly when you want it
When you know these two things you will already be way better of from where you started. You won't believe me but these two topics i just listed are the most difficult part for most people. They simply don't know what they want in life - for that the reason so many don't become a success at anything.
Some people take a life time and never figured out what they really wanted. You can change all that for yourself today very easily. Go and sit down and write down what you really want - it doesn't matter if it takes you an hour, a day, a month, a year or a few years. All right i know you probably laughing when i am saying a year or years, but still, think of this way. You have taken a long time figuring out what you really want - but you have then accomplished what most other people have not in a lifetime, and that is knowing what you want in life.
This can be a great start for your new life and new dreams. Everything will fall automatically in place then and you will feel that your living your life with a purpose after that.
My name is Gerrit Nel and im an part-time internet marketer. My general interests are writing articles and i have a big love of helping others in life. You are welcome to use this article for republishing as long as everything stays intact with the article.
http://successmentor2008.wordpress.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gerrit_G_Nel
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